Your invitation to welcome Joy into your life.
This weeks' feeling in the Permission to Feel series is joy! Yay! No messing about, let's get cracking with a poem.
Don’t jump in the puddles!
Why skip in the rain?
Don’t stare in the distance!
Must I tell you again?
Must you shove in your food
With such vulgar haste?
It goes down so quickly!
How can you taste?
Don’t leave your coat when you go outside!
When I call you to come, why must you hide?
Must you poke that snail into its shell?
No it’s not funny when you make that smell!
Why must you be such a troublesome boy?
‘Cos mum’
He chuckles
‘I choose joy’.
Rather delighted to write about joy today as our feeling of the week, because I hope that I can encourage you to find ways to access it, even though the world can feel like a joy-sucking flibbertigibbet at times.
Nietzsche said,
‘If we affirm one single moment, we thus affirm not only ourselves but all existence…if our soul has trembled with happiness and sounded like a harp string just once, all eternity was needed to produce this one event – and in this single moment of affirmation all eternity was called good, redeemed, justified, and affirmed.'
Ooh, doesn’t that immediately make you feel more intentional about creating joy, about finding moments to sound like a harp string?
What do psychologists say about joy?
Well, it’s pretty dry!
'Joy as an emotional state is always about something, and usually this is news about something good in one’s life. (Watkins et al 2017)
Not exactly... thought provoking.
Joy is a capacity that though not exclusive to faith, is enhanced by faith in that joy is intrinsic to what it means to be a human, is grown by spiritual practices.. (Emmons 2019)
There’s a relationship between joy and a sense of meaning, of something outside of ourselves, of awe, excitement, freedom.
Enough of other people’s definitions, what about you?
What brings you joy and what does it feel like?
Is it a warm heavy hum or a stand on the tip of your hair frisson?
Joy came to visit me today
It tapped at the window
As I sat inside with my friends,
Sharing stories, drinking coffee.
I didn’t notice it land at my shoulder
And creep in, settling in my tummy.
A warm heavy hum of delight.
A little exercise for you:
Write about what brings you joy now.
Use specifics, so not ‘bird song’ but think about the timing, the surrounding, what it makes you feel, where you feel it inside.
Does it bring a wave of peace or a golden thread of nostalgia - what is your very own unique landscape of joy?
I love this perspective from Khalil Gibran
On Joy and SorrowThen a woman said, Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow.And he answered:Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.And how else can it be?The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven?And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
Some of you say, “Joy is greater than sorrow,” and others say, “Nay, sorrow is the greater.”But I say unto you, they are inseparable.Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.
Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.
If you are in a valley of sorrow right now, know that it is preparing you for the opportunity of joy. When you feel joyful, express gratitude to those moments of despair that act as this moment's foil, making this moment of joy all the more sweeter.
With that in mind, have a read of this poem by 11 grader Chanie Gorkin, because it invites us to contemplate on how we can reframe our experiences to find joy.
Worst Day Ever?
Today was the absolute worst day ever
And don't try to convince me that
There's something good in every day
Because, when you take a closer look,
This world is a pretty evil place.
Even if
Some goodness does shine through once in a while
Satisfaction and happiness don't last.
And it's not true that
It's all in the mind and heart
Because
True happiness can be attained
Only if one's surroundings are good.
It's not true that good exists
I'm sure you can agree that
The reality
Creates
My attitude
It's all beyond my control
And you'll never in a million years hear me say that
Today was a very good day.
Now read it from bottom to top.
I wish I was clever enough to write a poem like this!
So what can you do today, right now, to help cultivate a little corner of joy in your day?
Here are some suggestions:
Be inspired by the visual: Take something you can see and write about it in a joyous way.
I wrote this after looking at a vision board I created.
Let’s go somewhere!
Where the first hour we wake is filled with moments of joy that carry us through the day.
Let’s go where we can dive right in to the heartbeat of living;
Where we vibrate with an electrifying frisson that makes each of our hairs stand on its very tippy top end.
Where the only words on our tongues are
Zeal!
And
Zest!
Where each breath is an exquisite force for good.
Word play: Write a silly poem using onomatopoeic words or predictable rhyme
Imagine a land all in rhyme.
Wouldn’t that just be so fine?
You could ski for free with a cup of tea
And play all day in a glistening bay.
There’d be fun in the sun and games to be won.
We’d bake a cake and swim in a lake.
The trees could sneeze gently in the breeze!
A pig in a wig could be dancing a jig. It’d be silly and frilly,
Happy and free.
Hilarious, gregarious,
A world full of glee… But there’d be no oranges.
Make magic from the mundane: Take a daily activity, or group of activities and turn them into something magical.
I wrote this in response to my son's daily question of 'What did you do today mum?' In truth, I had taken the dog for a walk, saw a child with his face painted like a tiger, met with some clients, made lunch, had coffee with a friend and picked my son up from school.
In magic land, here is the answer to:
What did you do today mum?
I strode with wolves on the hinterland,
Dodged tigers near their lairs,
Rescued knights with rusty armour,
Saved broken souls from bears.
I prepared a courtly banquet,
Chanted with women so wise,
I sewed up fraying heartstrings,
I refocused cloudy eyes.
I listened with bat-like sonar
For the vibrations far underground.
And yet - stretched afar on my odyssey - I was sure to be homeward bound,
To pick you up, small hand in mine,
To hear your tales so true,
Of young heroes in their making,
Young heroes just like you.
Reading that poem always makes me a little teary... happy tears!
The point is, creating a gift of joy is at our fingertips. Yes, it may be fleeting and it may not matter in the grand scheme of things, but considering life is made up of moments called 'now', what if you started to cultivate joy for yourself... now?
Let me know if you try any of the exercises and how you get on!
That's it for now,
'Til next time,
Jacky ✨