Understanding the Cycle of Change: From Resistance to Recovery
The journey of personal transformation, particularly in overcoming addiction, rarely follows a straight path.
Why won’t they change?!
It’s a common question when loving someone who is navigating addiction and possible recovery.
Evidence for their willingness to change may be looked for in minute details - the tone of voice, a slight change in habit. This kind of hyper-vigilance is exhausting for those affected by a loved one’s addiction.
It’s commonly understood that those who seek recovery go through various stages of change. Based on the work of psychologists Prochaska and DiClemente, The Transtheoretical Model, outlines five distinct stages that individuals typically navigate during the change process: Precontemplation, Contemplation, Preparation, Action, and Maintenance.
Understanding this framework may be reassuring to you.
The Blind Spot: Pre-contemplation Stage
In the pre-contemplation stage, individuals are effectively driving blind to their own problems. At this stage, they attribute any issues they encounter to external factors. This is when you are likely to hear that they are using because of something that happened, or something that didn’t happen. It’s easy to start doubting yourself; maybe they are behaving this way because of X, Y or Z.
The fundamental fact, though, is that they are acting that way because they have no other way in which to deal with their own triggers, cravings or distress.
During this stage, any attempts to point out problematic behaviour are met with steadfast resistance, as they have a solution - their substance or behaviour. The problem, as they see it, is the rest of the world.
The First Glimpse: Contemplation Stage
It may be helpful to see ‘denial’ as a commitment to maintain the relationship with the substance or behaviour, because that is seen as the solution.
However, as time goes on, the problems that this solution brings start to become undeniable.
When the solution starts to pile up the problems, there may be glimpses of acknowledgement that there are negative consequences to their solution.
The pain of the consequences may be fleeting and the go-to strategy is to return to the tried and tested method; using.
However, there is a chink of doubt that this go-to isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Whilst they might still default to blaming external circumstances, they become more receptive to information about potential solutions.
However, this stage is characterised by profound ambivalence - they recognise the problem but remain reluctant to commit to change.
Well-meaning attempts by others to fix their situation often backfire, as it deprives them of the necessary space to fully experience and process the consequences of their actions.
Building Momentum: Preparation Stage
The preparation stage marks a crucial turning point where accumulated consequences finally tip the scales toward change. Their language shifts to include what experts call "change talk," expressions of Desire, Ability, Reasons, and Need (DARN) to change. While they still voice concerns about the challenges ahead, they start actively exploring alternative paths and building confidence in their capacity for change.
Taking the Wheel: Action Stage
The action stage represents the point where individuals commit to meaningful change, despite knowing it may initially feel like things get worse before they get better.
In addiction recovery, this might involve attending support meetings, distancing themselves from triggering relationships, and developing new coping strategies. Individuals in this stage accept short-term discomfort for long-term wellness. They begin building a toolkit of recovery strategies, from tracking triggers to managing cravings and cultivating humility to ask for help when needed.
The New Normal: Maintenance Stage
In the maintenance stage, healthy behaviours become routine. While ‘perfect performance’ isn't expected individuals now view setbacks as opportunities for growth rather than failures. They've developed proactive habits and anticipate potential hazards, maintaining their recovery through consistent self-care and vigilance.
Understanding the Journey
The cycle of change reminds us that transformation is rarely linear or simple. Each stage serves a purpose in the journey toward sustainable change, and rushing or skipping stages often leads to setbacks. For those supporting someone through this process, recognising these stages helps inform appropriate responses - from holding space during contemplation to celebrating small victories in action and maintenance.
Most importantly, the model offers hope by demonstrating that change, while challenging, follows a predictable pattern that millions have successfully navigated before.
The Feeling Freedom programme supports those affected by a loved one's addiction. Our next group begins in May. Learn more at https://www.jackypower.com/feelingfreedom