The Art of Being Yourself: Lessons from Improv Class
Finding the Courage to Break Free from Limiting Beliefs and Claim Your Individuality
A few weeks ago I started improvisation classes. It was under the guise that I was supporting my son, who is studying acting. The (my) idea was that we would go along to classes as a shared fun thing that we could do together.
And it was fun.
But it was my kind of fun, not his.
He’s pretty amenable and he’d gone along with it, to give it a go, but he was the youngest there by at least a decade and, well, he has fun with his classmates in his improvisation classes.
He didn’t need to be dragged along to mine.
And if we get really quiet, if we get really honest, can you hear it?
That little voice that was the true motivation behind me booking those classes for the two us?
“You can’t possibly just go and do an improvisation class for… fun.”
Often beneath our manipulative tactics can lurk unmet needs.
Needs that we don’t find a way to meet as adults because of our limiting beliefs that we developed as children.
Thos limiting beliefs that can unwittingly show up in our decisions today.
This can happen when somehow our uniqueness, our authentic selves, our individuality was not allowed to be.
How often, within the family unit, were we given messages, overt or covert, that our individuality was not welcome; not convenient; not ‘what is needed’.
Were you ‘too much’ for your mother?
‘Not good enough’ for your dad?
Is your life a little lonely?
Your heart a little sad?
Well listen here my little love
Tune in your ears so fine
It’s time you’re told the truth
To stop your inner critic’s whine
Don’t listen to your parents!
It’s a lie that they know best!
They’re making it up as they go along,
Just like all the rest
Don’t let their voices make a home
Inside your pretty head
Shake them off,
Break them off,
Go live your life instead!
But we are not children now, we are adults, and if we are to live in line with the rich juicy loves that we desire then we must be willing to claim our individuality.
As Marianne Williamson says,
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to.
Our individuality will at times be unwelcome, inconvenient and at times ‘not what is needed’.
For which I have a little mantra:
Go where you are wanted, stay where you are seen
We will be met with resistance (others’ and our own) as we explore and learn to celebrate our individuality.
We then have a choice, to shrink and lean into manipulation and disappointment, or to claim it.
To the women who fought back:
Who refused to be the damsel in distress
And with spittle and verve set out to address
The injustice and inequity
Who cried into the void
‘It ends with me’
And so were ridiculed, resented, harassed, tormented.
But dug in deeper with determination
To break the cycles of desperation,
And so were met with denigration, subjected to humiliation
But despite their bewildered exasperation
Cried into the void
‘It ends with me’
And gave us all an education
In what it means
To be
Woman.
As I have continued with the improvisation classes - flying solo - the classes have reminded me of many principles which I believe can help this pursuit:
Failures are to be celebrated – they're signs that you've tried something new.
Have a "yes, and" approach.
Creativity enhances connection.
Connection enhances creativity.
Stay in the here and now.
Leave your ego at the door.
Don't try and lead things to where you think they should go, but respond to what is in the scene.
These are all things that we can embrace to support our journey into individuality and authenticity.
It’s needed now more than ever, don’t you think?
That’s it for now,
’Til next time.
Jacky ✨