The Journey Through Dread: Tapping into Resilience and Hope

Sorry sorry sorry, the feeling this week in the ‘permission to feel’ series is dread. I know, who wants to read about dread when there are already so many reasons to feel it right now? But BEAR WITH, we’ll come out the other side…

This week on The Therapeutic Poet Podcast I spoke to Dr. Debi Silber about betrayal - oh look, you can listen to that here.

Which links in quite nicely with talking about dread. Good God, it’s as if this is planned or something.

Let’s clarify what I mean by dread.

Dread occurs when there is a high likelihood of negative events. A sense of impending doom, armageddon before you’ve opened your eyes…

Wiggle your toes. WIGGLE YOUR TOES!

Otherwise we’ll be in overwhelm in a jiffy and I’ve already covered that in a previous newsletter.

Yes, lots to have a sense of dread about. So how can we help ourselves through it? In the podcast Dr. Debi talks about four areas to address: mental, physical, emotional and spiritual. So let’s take these as a framework for dealing with dread.

Mental

Imagine yourself at the end of your life, looking back over what you have done, what you have spent time on, how you have lived. What would you want to see within your life?

This simple question is a quick wake up call to align yourself back to your values and priorities. Think about the different areas of your life:

Relationships, health, work, personal growth, free time, hobbies, social justice.

You can use a tool like this life pie to plot out your priorities and see how you are living your life in line with your priorities. You can then use this to see which areas need to be addressed in order to balance out your life. This will help you to keep your thoughts in the present about what you can start to do now to live the life you want.

Physical

A few months ago I kept on waking up with that familiar heavy lead of dread in my tummy. I couldn’t figure out what was going on: I tried to limit how much news I exposed myself to, I was sleeping well, no major dramas going on in my life. What was going on?

Ding ding ding! Hello peri-menopause! My oestrogen levels were plummeting thanks to my age and the fluctuating levels in my hormones were playing havoc with my mentality. I mean, it was literally ‘The world is ending and it is MY job to save it, all before dinner time when I’ll whip up a lasagne in time for when the boys come home.’

Regardless of our hormone levels and the stage of life we are in, what we consume greatly affects our neurotransmitters which help us to feel chill.

Tryptophan is an essential amino acid which is needed to help us make serotonin. When we are lacking in it we suffer from the freak outs (technical term - but basically, low mood, anxiety, irritability, impulsiveness and insomnia).

So if you are feeling ongoing dread this may be another thing to check out. High tryptophan foods are high protein foods. Foods such as yoghurt, seeds and fish will help, but make sure you eat them with complex carbohydrates to help with absorption from what you are eating. Aim for about 25g of protein per meal.

Emotional

Using emotional freedom technique can be a way of clearing a sense of dread. Using this technique can help to tap into your subconscious and become aware of the additional emotions which may be accompanying dread - perhaps there is also loneliness, fear, grief or anger along with it. EFT will help you to shift the intensity of those emotions and help you address matters that you can have some control over. Here is a video specifically using EFT for a sense of dread.

Spiritual

We can use spiritual practices to help move through dread. In this podcast episode with Susan McGrath we talk about skilful suffering. Susan offers two practices within this podcast that may help. The first is a surrender practice, to welcome all of the feelings and experiences that we are going through. The second exercise is a Tonglen practice. Tonglen is a Tibetan Buddhist meditation practice. On the inhale, you take in the pain and suffering of yourself and others and on the exhale you give space, compassion and healing to yourself and others.

Finally, remember that we can take action! How can you take practical action today to help you address the issues that are creating a sense of dread?

One thing I do dread is the thought of my kids eventually growing up and leaving. It’s a weird feeling, as I can feel like I can’t wait for that to happen sometimes! This poem does touch on the dread of the kids growing up though, I think.

I don’t know it yet:

That THIS

is the last time.

Eye-rolled away

into discarded dust.

I don’t know it yet.

Until,

maybe,

one mundane day of 

Nothing Much

we’ll go to the park

and I’ll say,

“Shall I help you?”

And you’ll toss back

‘I can do it’. 

A tumble of moments;

of mindless meaning

collecting around me

at break neck speed.

Tricked by a tromp d’oeil of 

trickling minutes.

Pleas for

“One minutes peace”

replaced by

hours 

of silent rooms.

I don’t know it yet.

I don’t know it yet. 

The action I can take now is making the most of the moments we have together, through writing a daily gratitude list, taking pictures of the mundane moments which will seem so precious in the future and telling them how much I appreciate them. It makes the days today so much richer and fuller and the days of the tomorrows, well, they will take care of themselves.

I start from where I am today

And tomorrow,

Well that’s another day, 

For I can only work with what I’ve got

And let time tell

If that’s enough to not,

But it’s all I have, 

So I’ll go from here, 

I’ll lean more to faith

And less to fear.

Even when it’s 

With a heavy heart

Let me find a way 

To make a start.

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Thank you as ever for subscribing. There we are, we got through dread and are still here to tell the tale. Go us!

That’s it for now, ‘til next time!

Jacky x