One person's weird is another person's wonder.
This week's feeling is embarrassment and I'm going to immediately flip it on its head and retitle this missive as...
The art of not giving a f**k
For us to go any further, things will make much more sense if you watch this video. Listen out for the laughs as I share (in poetic form of course!) a moment of embarrassment.
Have you heard of the Japanese art of Kintsugi?
This is the art of putting broken pieces of pottery back together and painting the cracks with gold; the idea being that you can make something even more beautiful when you acknowledge and embrace imperfections.
I guess it’s like an optimistic lens on ‘suffering for your art’!
When our lives break us open into a hot sorry mess of ugly face crying and despair, (or a red faced moment of embarrassment in a yoga studio) we can’t stay there forever; not if you are up for making of it what you can.
When we really look - without judgment and with curiosity - at the things that made us feel broken or wrong, we can start to make meaning with them, and this is where change can happen.
A broken bowl is either a broken bowl for the bin, or the start of a piece of art.
What do you want your life to be?
My poem is a pretty simplistic view of this, but the principle is the same.
Those who thrive are those who use their experience of pain to make meaning in it and that meaning is often meaningful to others.
Just to be clear, making meaning is different to finding meaning. Often we can be encouraged to find meaning in something terrible that has happened to us.
I am not sure that that is helpful.
In fact, it can keep us in powerless eddies of ‘why’ and ‘how’?
When we make meaning, we are the changemakers, the narrators, the cycle breakers, the kintsugi creators.
How can you share your story so that others feel less alone?
Afraid to do so?
There is always a way. This is why I love poetry so much - a lot of hidden meaning can be moulded into a metaphor!
Each time I read out this poem at an event or share it I ALWAYS, without fail, have someone sidle up to me and share that they have been that varty person in yoga.
Whatever you are going through, with 7 billion people on the planet, it’s unlikely you are the only one.
You are certainly not the only one to feel embarrassment, humiliation or shame.
So name it.
Look out for any perfectionistic or blaming voices that are lurking in the wings around your situation.
Thank the universe for giving you an opportunity to be reminded of your humanity and, as a result likely to see the humanity in others more quickly.
See the humour in it - afterall, the whole genre of cringe comedy has embarrassment as its foundation.
Congratulate yourself on creating a great icebreaker story for a time in the future, should you ever pluck up the courage to share it.
You know what I say, though,
Own it, and let everyone enjoy your golden threads from your broken pottery.
In other news...
I had a great time chatting to Harris III on his podcast The Wow-Level Life about the therapeutic impact of poetry. We discussed the benefits of understanding trauma, why poetry and the arts are so beneficial in healing trauma and how to integrate your inner child without letting them run the show. You can listen to that here.
Now, who is for a spot of yoga? 💨
That's it for now!
'Til next time,