I thought I just didn’t like surprises, but it turns out it’s not as simple as that.

Permission to feel: surprise

Have you ever noticed how some people love surprises and some people… don’t?

Have you ever wondered why?

Why is it that some people read the last page of the book before they are finished, go searching for their Christmas presents before the big day or don’t ‘do’ surprise birthdays?

I know, reading the last page of the book, who DOES that?! 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️.

Surprise is the only emotion that requires us to make sense of what is happening before we react.

If you think of other emotions like fear, or disgust, you instantly have a reaction to pull away. Then other emotions like love or happiness make you move towards.

But surprise? You’ve got to do a bit of thinking to figure it out.

When are we most surprised in life? Here’s a clue:

Think of all of those surprises that happen again and again and again.

Wow! A world!

Wow! A person!

Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow!

Dr. Michael Rousell has studied surprise to an impressive level. He states that surprises are ‘formative’ events which can shape our lives. In his Ted talk he explains that this is because surprising events are when new beliefs are formed.

Once we’ve formed a new belief about ourselves we start to behave as if that belief is true. And guess what? This happens even before we can speak or make sense of the world!

Before the age of 7, our brain is in a theta state, which is the same brain wave state for hypnosis. As we grow older our brain develops to enable us to have discernment, but until then we are little sponges absorbing and learning through the behaviour and energy of others, and then creating beliefs based on our experiences.

We are hard wired to learn instantly in a moment of surprise.

So we are busy creating all these beliefs about ourselves from all of these moments of surprise that we don’t even remember in our childhood. Hence, these limiting beliefs are unconscious but driving most of our behaviour most of the time.

Michael shares how you can hack this process to your advantage. One of the techniques therapists can use are affirmations to try and hack this system, but I believe that there is a subtlety to this: