Anxiety sobriety

What lies beneath...

Hello friends and fellows!

It is Friday, the sun is shining somewhere and I am looking forward to the weekend.

What a full week it has been!

A lot of clients have shared about their anxiety this week. I’d like to invite you to think about your anxiety if it something you deal with.

You may say, ‘I have anxiety’, a bit like ‘I have flu’.

Photo by David Mao on Unsplash

Just like you may try to alleviate the pain of flu with painkillers, a soothing bath or a cold compress, you may try to alleviate your anxiety with:

• Seeking reassurance ("Do you really think it will be alright?")

• Checking facts ("Let me just Google it")

• Information seeking ("I'll just buy these couple of books and binge read them...")

• Withdrawal ("I'm not really up to seeing everyone tonight, go on ahead without me")

• Avoidance ("I'll just let it go to voicemail")

• Procrastination ("Should I make a to-do list or Google ways to make the most efficient to-do list or buy an app that will do my to-do list for me... or all 3?")

These are all understandable 'flight' responses. The problem? The anxiety lives in your head. So wherever you go, there it is.

We can look at persistent ‘trait’ anxiety as something that started as a flight response, but has ended up being a freeze response. Partially this is because of our environment; the influx of information, having a constantly ‘on society’, a disintegration of community and the family unit. Often, it is also rooted in childhood experiences.

The Avoidance Trap

When we engage in avoidance behaviours to escape anxiety, we might feel immediate relief. But this doesn't build resilience or address the underlying issue of being in a state of freeze.

In fact, avoidance actually intensifies anxiety, creating a never-ending loop. We avoid, feel temporary relief, then experience even stronger anxiety later, leading to more avoidance.

This week, as I have chatted about my clients’ anxiety we have looked at it under the microscope to find what is lurking there:

Frustration

Anger

Stress

Shame

Guilt

Resolve

Exhaustion

Worry

Fear

Confusion

Fear

Overwhelm

This is helpful!

Now, rather than focussing on alleviating the symptom, we can start to address the root cause:

Frustration - where do you need support and guidance

Anger - where do you feel your boundaries have been crossed or you have not been listened to

Stress - what is taking you beyond your capacity, your window of tolerance?

And so on.

Curious?

Here are some writing prompts you can try: